I call to order this meeting of The Secret Order of Pirate Bear.

Other then reading this, Pirate Bears business should not be discussed unless at a camp fire meeting of The Secret Order of Pirate Bear (SOB). There are few members of SOB that have been at both the original meeting and the second meeting. These members are known as the Founding Members of SOB.

The Sacred Scroll of Pirate Bear is kept with The Keeper of the Scroll, a Founding Member, at his residence. The Keeper of the Scroll is also the Pirate Bear Scribe and reads and past minutes at the beginning of each meeting of SOB.

[Read More!]

I ran across this while I was cleaning up some files. I somewhat remember typing it. Funny thing is I don't remember who I wrote it about and I was generic enough that I could place it on many days since February 13, 2008, the date the document was created. Enjoy.
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It's a day,

I woke up this morning to "Beautiful Day" by U2 and thought "It's going to be a good day Tater"

And it was all good until I started work. Everyone at my work is awesome. The customers on the other hand.... not so much.

If a program is installed on a computer and configured properly then it runs smooth and a baby's bottom. 95% of customers understand this and run the program with no problems and they love us because we provide a great quality software. We also address any issues they might have and answer any general questions at no extra cost. Patches are free of charge so if there is something that changes, they install the patch and are good to go.

95% of our customers are awesome, unfortunately this is not who I get to speak with. I talk with the 5% that think their computer is a flawless chunk of metal and that anything that happens on that computer (even though its connected to the internet and used to surf porn and MySpace (no offense) ) is caused by the program and we should fix it. A simple recommendation to remove a third party software that has been known to interfere with our software that they are USING TO RUN THEIR BUSINESS is seen as me having an attitude.

I'll get more specific. "Woman A" calls in and states there was data loss and she needs to know why. Reasonable request so I answer: I explain we have seen this in the past and that there is a few things we need to make sure are not on the computer and also verify settings to make sure they are optimized for the program. I explain that if she needs us to walk her through the settings and take our time then she would need to be in a support policy (What do you know... its called BUSINESS!). All was well, so I thought until "Husband A" calls in. He obviously didn't get the correct information from his ditz of a wife because he starts ranting to me about why he should pay for us to fix our software. I calmly explain that that was incorrect. The issue is not with our software and the money only needs to be paid if they need us to walk him configuring his computer. He continues to go off about this and that and states multiple times that he hears my attitude. He starts going off about business practices and such, stuff way over my head so I offer to leave a message for the boss. He declines so I end the call.... Yeah I hung up on him because there was nothing more I could do for him and am not willing to listen to his pointless yelling.

Knowing (My Personal guarantee!) that they where not smart enough between them to put 2 + 2 together to even think this is about them, I hope that by some power of all that is good that that ass hole and his dumb ass wife read this and think...

"Hey that sounds like what happened to us today!"

abbreviation

Cell Phone Pocket n

A condition caused by overuse of mobile phone silent mode. Symptoms of CPP can by physical in the case of a nerve that will create an actual vibration but can also be mental in cases where there is no physical movement but the patient is inclined to check their mobile phone. The most common symptom being ghost vibrations in the lower thigh as this is commonly area for a mobile phone pocket.

Three Points, A B and C

The 3 points make up a right triangle

A and B are equidistant to C

A to C is 5 BeerSteps

What is the Distance in BeerSteps form A to B rounded to the tenth of a BeerStep?

There is just something about a hot dog wrapped in raw bacon then cooked with sliced bell peppers and onions on a flat portable stove on wheels and then placed into a bun along with said vegetables by a gentleman who doesn't speak much English that you have to spend five minutes using your nose to find in the parking lot after an LA Galaxy game that makes it the best damn hot dog you will ever have.

Video: Bobby Being Drunk Part 3
Time: 00:00:25


Host: YouTube

Video: Us Vs Beer Teaser
Time: 00:00:36


Host: YouTube

Video: Bobby Being Drunk Part 2
Time: 00:00:26


Host: YouTube

I was in a fast food parking lot today. I pulled out of my spot and needed to go past the drive though line to get to the exit. The drive through line was stretched out a few cars passed the entrance so the line was perpendicular to my path. I thought it was rather clear I needed to go through as I was pulling out in that direction so when the line started moving I assumed the person to my left would kindly wait until I passed to move up. Negative. They hit the gas and tail the person in front of them. I give a friendly beep with a smile and point to try and get them to backup. All I get is a horizontal swaying of a head in the driver seat that would normally indicate saying something with attitude. I open my door and say nicely,

"Excuse me, can you back up for a second so I can get through that way?"

I can't hear the response but I got attitude again and no other movement. "Is that a no?"

More attitude. "Well Thanks A Lot!"

Fuck Lazy Rude Waste Of Flesh Piles Of Shit Like You Lady! Fuck You!



As long as the brainwashed outnumber the educated 12 to 1 then we are screwed!

Video: Bobby Being Drunk Part 1
Time: 00:00:28


Host: YouTube

Digitastic = Awesome, With A Wii Smirk.

I was quite displeased with my box-o-food today. I ordered a dry burger for my disabled brother, Paul, as he is lactose intolerant. I gave that burger to him trusting that it was a nondairy meal. After Jotella (Paul's Caregiver) gave Paul a couple bites from his plate of precut Double Burger, My brother looked like a giant strawberry. Upon closer inspection one of the patties looked like it had been a cheeseburger with the cheese scrapped off. I request that you don't do that in the future.

Thanks,

Anonymous

Hello. I am Bobby (AKA Bobby Digital). some people call me Robert. Here is my Blog. Bookmark it if you will. Check back every once in a while. I will have some interesting things on here. My goal is not to make money or even entertain you. It is just to build my little corner of the Internet. If I happen to interest you, thats cool.

As time passes you will find Rants, Fiction and Media on BeerTechs. You can see a couple of Fiction entries below. I will review media such as Movies, Music and Web Sites. And I will rant until my ranting heart is content.

There are lots of links around on BeerTechs. Some to media or internet stuff. Some to Friends and Family sites. All interesting.

Hope to see you back soon

[John] Suns, no suns. In the box, out of the box. Time passed. As time went on we lost a lot of brothers and sisters. The odd flakes were not enough and our life wasn't holding up. After a particularly long stay in the box we were opened one day to the hairy god looking in on us. It took the few brothers and sisters that had passed on in the cup and was gone for a minute. On its return it started scooping up live brothers and sisters. We tried to hide behind a large rock. It just picked it up and scooped again. We tried to hide next to the god looking creature that floated in the water, it was quickly scooped out. We hid in the plant but that was soon taken from us also. Nowhere to hide we just swam for our lives. This seemed to work until the hairy god started taking our life away. Lower and lower our life level got. Until there was nowhere else to go except into the hairy gods scooping cup. I was put in a tall tank with nothing else in it except life, a dead sister and one of my brothers. I could see Carl in another tall tank with four or five of the smaller brothers and sisters. The tank was labeled "Sobe". There was one more "Sobe" tank with two larger brothers about my size. [Read More!]

[John] Hello, My name is John. As I swim here in this bowl of life, I reflect back on everywhere I have been and what I have seen. It has been a crazy ride and I think I am finally at a Home. Of coarse I thought that before a couple times. Here is my story.

I was born in a giant tank, my mother was taken away from me by the green net shortly after. All my brothers and sisters were there with me though. My older, by 4 seconds, brother was able to communicate with some of the older fish in our tank and found out that everyones mom had been taken away. Some of them started in other tanks and after their mom was taken by the green net they were poured into our tank. Also some of the other fish had been put here by the green net. They don't like to talk about it much though. The green net takes away life. [Read More!]