I call to order this meeting of The Secret Order of Pirate Bear.

Other then reading this, Pirate Bears business should not be discussed unless at a camp fire meeting of The Secret Order of Pirate Bear (SOB). There are few members of SOB that have been at both the original meeting and the second meeting. These members are known as the Founding Members of SOB.

The Sacred Scroll of Pirate Bear is kept with The Keeper of the Scroll, a Founding Member, at his residence. The Keeper of the Scroll is also the Pirate Bear Scribe and reads and past minutes at the beginning of each meeting of SOB.

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I was quite displeased with my box-o-food today. I ordered a dry burger for my disabled brother, Paul, as he is lactose intolerant. I gave that burger to him trusting that it was a nondairy meal. After Jotella (Paul's Caregiver) gave Paul a couple bites from his plate of precut Double Burger, My brother looked like a giant strawberry. Upon closer inspection one of the patties looked like it had been a cheeseburger with the cheese scrapped off. I request that you don't do that in the future.

Thanks,

Anonymous

[John] Suns, no suns. In the box, out of the box. Time passed. As time went on we lost a lot of brothers and sisters. The odd flakes were not enough and our life wasn't holding up. After a particularly long stay in the box we were opened one day to the hairy god looking in on us. It took the few brothers and sisters that had passed on in the cup and was gone for a minute. On its return it started scooping up live brothers and sisters. We tried to hide behind a large rock. It just picked it up and scooped again. We tried to hide next to the god looking creature that floated in the water, it was quickly scooped out. We hid in the plant but that was soon taken from us also. Nowhere to hide we just swam for our lives. This seemed to work until the hairy god started taking our life away. Lower and lower our life level got. Until there was nowhere else to go except into the hairy gods scooping cup. I was put in a tall tank with nothing else in it except life, a dead sister and one of my brothers. I could see Carl in another tall tank with four or five of the smaller brothers and sisters. The tank was labeled "Sobe". There was one more "Sobe" tank with two larger brothers about my size. [Read More!]

[John] Hello, My name is John. As I swim here in this bowl of life, I reflect back on everywhere I have been and what I have seen. It has been a crazy ride and I think I am finally at a Home. Of coarse I thought that before a couple times. Here is my story.

I was born in a giant tank, my mother was taken away from me by the green net shortly after. All my brothers and sisters were there with me though. My older, by 4 seconds, brother was able to communicate with some of the older fish in our tank and found out that everyones mom had been taken away. Some of them started in other tanks and after their mom was taken by the green net they were poured into our tank. Also some of the other fish had been put here by the green net. They don't like to talk about it much though. The green net takes away life. [Read More!]

One day Nick pushed the wrong button, he was then covered in oil. The oil lit ablaze and Nick ran to jump in the river. Upon entering the river the oil remained on top of the water. Mice shooting, fresh water sharks with laser beams on their foreheads skewer Nick in the ass and he was burning and drowning at the same time. Out of nowhere Pirate Bear swashbucklered down on his giant schlong and saved Nick. As Pirate Bear is afraid of mice, he is unable to destroy the mice shooting, fresh water sharks with laser beams on their foreheads, but Nick is safe... for now. [Read More!]